Staying in Discomfort

It’s tough for me, it feels extremely uncomfortable, like trying to put on a pair of jeans that are stiff with starch and 3 sizes too small. It’s a kind of aggravating frustration, a mosquito bite waiting to be scratched. This staying in one place. 

It’s not that my life is stagnant; it’s full and brimming with wonder and excitement… it’s simply that there is so much of the world to be had, consumed, loved up on, relished in, experienced. 

And I want it all.

My soul craves to deeply know all the hidden and small places.
To listen and feel the stories of all the people of this world.
To taste all the fruit and vegetables Earth has to offer.
To feel the waves of each sea and ocean lick at my toes and the mountains push up under my feet.
To breathe in the thick jungle air and feel the dry desert wind wrap around my legs. 

Well, you see, when you stay in one place more than a year it takes time away from seeing and feeling and tasting and experiencing all these other amazing places and people and food.

I feel at odds most days. Continually stifling the urge to throw my hands up, not in giving up but in a relinquishing of all commitments, to simply leave; put my belongings in my jalopy car, the beautiful things and the necessary things, then just drive. South probably. Maybe west. Or even to the Canadian Rockies.

There are almost too many wild and exquisite places to relish in and devour.

It consumes me.

It seems culminating and right to end this post with a resolution of some kind, a mindful exercise to ease my wandering spirit or better yet, the proof of a one-way ticket to the mountains… or the jungle… or the beach… but sadly, I have no pretty bow to tie this in, no decorations to ease my wandering spirit or validate anyone else’s. Just the knowledge that we’re not alone, that we all put in the work to accomplish our dreams, that we’re all striving for the best. And for me, right now, that means staying in one place.

Maybe I’ll learn more here, in one place, than I will on the road… 

Reminder to Self: listening require stillness.